Dear Ms. Bertha Lewis,
I do not know if you have been following the events unfolding between the Somalian Pirates and their standoff with the U.S. Navy, but I believe a wonderful opportunity for your organization has formed. As you are well aware, ACORN has been developing international arms, expanding it’s influence to other countries in dire need your organization’s talents in extorting money from those greedy captains of industry. The Somalian “Pirates”, in a similar fashion, are really just community organizers, and are also extorting money from the wealthy and powerful, to distribute to the poor and needy masses of Somalia.
It is this similarity of purpose that inspired me to suggest a partnership. Better yet, induct the Somalian marine organizers into ACORN! They have similar interests, tactics, and motivations. The benefits to your organization are legion:
1. You get additional membership dues, a new office in a before unreached country
2. Additional funds provided by the ransom money the Somali’s have been adept at receiving
3. Additional SEIU members – the pirates, excuse me, organizers clearly are in need of unionizing
4. These extra members will need payroll services, so CCI will have another source of income
5. Additional members trained in Alinsky’s reforming tactics
6. A huge new market for ACORN housing, as the Somali’s obviously require low to moderate income housing
7. More off-shore locations to store money, thereby avoiding U.S. taxes
8. Many new money laundering possibilities
9. Increase press coverage as every hi-jacking receives worldwide media attention
10. The adoration of another oppressed people group
I could keep going, but I’m sure you have the idea now. It is important to note that I am not looking for anything special if this idea takes root and becomes beneficial for ACORN, I just want to see your organization succeed, grow, and be prosperous. Thank you for your time, and please call me if you would like me to go over the details with you.
Sincerely,
Red Dot in a Red State
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