A New York Magazine piece released on April 12th, proves that puff pieces are not just for Democrats anymore. Sometimes a hip and trendy young Republican gets polished in the press as well.
Eric Ulrich, a newly elected New York City Councilman, is just the sort of poster-child for the “New Right” Democrats need to complete the project of creating “the New Right.” He’s young (24, ooohhh), cool (he watches Family Guy, aaahhh), has great hair, trendy cloths, and…wait for it…wait for it…BASHES CONSERVATIVES IN THE SOUTH! What could be better? Here is the quote lest I be accused of taking poor Eric out of context:
You know, Republicans aren’t all religious fundamentalists from Alabama; some of us are just normal, working-class Catholics from Queens.
As one of Alabama’s Conservative representatives (I even got me a piture of ‘ol Bama on my websait thingy) I take umbrage at Eric’s statement (surprised someone from Alabama could actually use ‘umbrage’ in a sentence, Eric?). I am here to “tear you a new one, Eric.”
If you were a real Republican, New York Magazine would not have touched you with a 10 foot pole. They might have poked fun at you somewhere, but that would be iffy until you began running for higher office. And they would be the first to label your statement as a “hate crime” if you directed it at anyone other than Southern Christians.
If you were a real Republican, you would know that all religions should be handled with a level of respect. The disdain practically drips from your statement at those of us who actually hold their religious beliefs to be true. That is, after all, what ‘fundamentalism’ means. It does not mean extremism. Christians who believe that God created the world, created man, allowed man to fall from perfection, sent His Son to rectify the problem and take our place in Death, then raised His Son from the dead are essentially fundamentalists. If you yourself do not believe these things, then I’d like to talk to you about allowing Christ into your life.
If religious ‘fundamentalists’ did not hold their religions to be true, then what the heck are we getting up on a Sunday morning for? Church is not a country club Eric. We don’t just sit around and decide what we are going to believe on a particular day. Nor do we take polls to see what beliefs are popular that week. That is what makes it a Religion. People die every day for their religious beliefs, most of them are Christians. Do you also have a problem with the Catholic religious fundamentalists? Perhaps your priest would like to have a word with you, or better yet, your mother.
The second part of your statement claims that you are normal because you are from Queens. I’ve seen Queens…you can keep it. Give me blue sky, green trees, and breathable air any day. Because we are different, in dialect, in priorities, and obviously in manners, does not mean that we, and by we I mean those of us from the great state of Alabama, are not normal. So, we put sugar in our tea while it’s brewing instead of trying to dissolve it in a cold liquid – so what? To me, that just makes us smarter, but not more or less normal.
The last part of your statement sent me through the roof, “…some of us are just working-class [people]…” And what, we’re just plantation owners who sit around drinking Mint Julep’s? Or worse yet, unemployed trailer inhabitants watching monster truck rallies on our 19″ TV’s? Most people are “working-class” Eric, you would do well to remember that. Even wealthy people work, or do you think that doctors, bankers, and lawyers, just stay at the 19th hole while magically collecting enormous paychecks?
Eric, if you are representative of the New Right, than I don’t want any part of it. I’d rather stay in my “backwoods” state with its working-class religious fundamentalists, thank you very much. At least we know how to make tea.
P.S. A shout-out to my buddy Suzanna Logan and her blog for bringing this idiot to my attention. And just so my blog post can also be labeled “cool” here is a picture: