Posts Tagged ‘Hugo Chavez’

We here at RedDotinaRedState want to apologize to our loyal readers. It has been too long since our last post. But, we have good reason. There has been a lot of media coverage over the gift Hugo Chavez gave to our President – A book titled Open Veins of Latin America. Personally, I would have sent it back in the form of confetti…

What has not been reported is if, and how, Chavez inscribed the book. He is just too thoughtful a man to not have written some personalized message to the Commander in Chief. So we sent our daring reporter (and unpaid intern), Toshi Takanawa undercover into the White House – disguised as an Irish Catholic school girl on a field trip – to see if he could get a peek at the book. It was a dangerous and potentially life-threatening assignment, but Toshi took it all in stride.

The book was on display in the Oval Office, interestingly just sitting on the coffee table with a Hello Kitty bookmark stuck on page 108. While the other school kids were busy looking at the busts and other artwork, Toshi managed to snap this photo:


The flash bulb caught the attention of several security guards and poor Toshi had to immediately leave the safety of the tour group in an attempt to smuggle himself, and more importantly, the camera, out through the newly installed doggy door. Running across the White House lawn in a blur of red curls and blue plaid, Toshi actually managed to break two world records for the 100m hurdles. The fence surrounding the grounds luckily proved to be no match for his underfed frame and he managed to make it to the sidewalk – and freedom – with only two dog bites, some minor bruising, and one lost Mary Jane.

We had the inscription translated by our resident expert in Latin America – Alejandro Moreno, the gardener. The inscription reads:

To President Barack Obama,
It is good to see America in the capable hands of a brother of revolution. May this book give you inspiration.

Your comrade,
Hugo Chavez

This post is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to the actual inscription is purely coincidental. No interns were harmed in the writing of this post.


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CNBC’s version of the story can be found here, CNN is carrying the story as well, just not on the front page.

Chavez ordered the nationalization of a Venezuelan unit of Cargill in an effort to “keep food prices low”. Personally, I don’t care what the sawed-off, quasi-dictator does with his own country’s assets, but as far as I’m concerned, touching the assets of one of America’s companies is tantamount to an act of war. But with Obama dancing around the issue of nationalizing our banks (which means he wants to), and actively pursuing national health care, I wouldn’t doubt it if he wasn’t on the phone with Hugo right now asking for advice.

Cargill – close operations and get your people out of there! Do not waste one more moment in that country. Let them figure out how to grow their own parboiled rice.

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