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Archive for the ‘Obama’ Category

The Old Country Boy’s Rules for Fighting a Skunk are as follows:

#1: Pick a young skunk

#2: Make sure he is downwind

#3: Get a 12-gauge double-barreled shotgun loaded with double ought shells.

#4: Better still, get a 30:06 with a scope. You can stand further away from the skunk.

#5: On second thought, don’t pick a fight with a skunk. There’s a good chance something will go wrong and you’ll lose and end up with a pocket full of stink.

The above rules apply equally well for dealing with most liberal politicians and Barack Obama.

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THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

Two Different Versions! …………….. Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,

building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

And now for the MODERN version…

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’

Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant ‘s house where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome.’

Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back ofthe grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2012.

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A suicide bomber killed 31 people today, including five or six senior members of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard. Among the remaining dead were other Guard members, or local tribal leaders, and several dozen others were wounded. The story can be found here and here. Besides the Iranian leadership getting a small dose of their own medicine, what was really interesting is that Reuters quoted the Fars News Agency as blaming the bombing on terrorists backed by “the Great Satan America and its ally Britain,” even though a local Sunni group called Jundollah (God’s soldiers), claimed responsibility. According to Fars, a spokesman for Iran’s armed forces claimed Obama is backing the Jundollah in an effort to cause instability in the region.

Not in the distant future, we [Iran] will take revenge…

Of course, our State Department denies any involvement and condemned the attack.

Reports of alleged U.S. involvement are completely false.

Is this what Vice President Biden was talking about when he said the world would test Obama?  Probably not.  It will however damage the talks in Vienna due to begin tomorrow.  We know this because we can  use what we know of Iran’s leadership (i.e. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is flippin’ crazy) to come up with an educated guess of their intentions.  While I would not doubt Ahmadinejad is capable of hiring a bomber to kill his own people in a publicity stunt, and you must admit – the timing is perfect, whether he did or not is irrelevant.  He will use this to his advantage in two ways.  One, it will give him a reason to delay, cancel, or otherwise disrupt the talks being held to reign in Iran’s nuclear arms program.  Claiming one of the nations at the table just killed some of your crew will put a damper on negotiations.  Oh, to be a fly on the wall.  Two, he will also use this to foster additional hatred against the West, and America in particular.  This will make it easier to drum up popular support for an all out war against us, should Obama do what is necessary to eliminate the threat posed by a nuclear armed Iran.

Since Iran’s army is a bit lower class than Saddam’s army, the fight – if you could call it that – would be over quickly, even with Obama’s ridiculous changes to our rules of engagement.  But Ahmadinejad doesn’t need to engage us directly.  He could easily use this as a recruiting tool to find hundreds, if not thousands, of suicide bombers to send against our interests in the Middle East, or against us directly back home.  I picture something like every Iranian driven cab in New York City blowing up simultaneously during rush hour…which would be almost all of them.

Any country crazy enough to lie to their population about the origins of a terrorist attack, to drive them into a frenzy against the most powerful country in the world either deserves the smackdown we would give them, or has an ace up their sleeve.  I trust Ahmadinejad about as far as I can throw a pregnant camel, but at least we can be sure of one thing: Obama had nothing to do with this bombing.  How do I know that?  If he had a suicide bomber at his disposal, and had the balls to use him, I think his target would be something much more prescient…like the Fox News Building.

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Ahhh, Chicago.  Finally I have a reason to love and laud the heartland of governmental grist and corruption (well, its citizens at any rate).  Well done and well said Chi-town!

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Strange we never saw these images on the Main Stream Media. Where are you All Barack Channel?  Central Barack Station?  Too busy covering  Jacko’s drama to pay attention to America?  Ummm, duh!

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These were sent to me via email and I do not know who the artist is but they truly are hysterical and bone-chilling in their accuracy!  Enjoy…

Gone With the Wind

The Wizard of Oz

 

Birth Certificate

 

godfather

wonderfullife

Kudos to BIGFURHAT for these images.  Keep ’em coming!

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ATTENTION! THIS BLOG CONTAINS INAPPROPRIATE MATERIAL FOR LIBERALS!

(and maybe some uptight conservatives with no sense of humor…)

PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Now that I have my warning label out of the way, I can continue.

No I’m not talking about the next stimulus Obama is wanting to pass… I’m talking about how Obama has GOT to be laughing behind America’s back by now.
I have collected, thanks to my WONDERFUL friends on twitter, a series of jokes and political cartoons and emails about Obama, Pelosi, Biden and the likes. Hope you enjoy.

(Note I did not make up any of these jokes or cartoons myself.)

Time  Warp
Over five  thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ” pick
up your  shovel , mount your asses and camels , and I will lead you to the
promise land”.

Nearly 75  years ago , Roosevelt said, ” Lay down your shovels , sit on
your asses  , and light up a camel , this is the promised land”.

Now Obama  is going to steal your shovel , kick your asses , Raise the
price of  camels , and mortgage the promised land.

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The Marine

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.”

“We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.  I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low life scum bag who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a fat, good-for-nothing, left wing liberal drunk who doesn’t know how to drive. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!  He retaliated by yelling –“Oh yeah?  Well, so does Hillary Clinton!”
“And there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands when a truck hit us.”

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Postage Stamp Problems

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama but
the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.

After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional hearings,a special Presidential Commission presented the following findings:

The stamp is in perfect order.

There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.

People are just spitting on the wrong side.

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Briefing

The Dept Of Defense briefed the president this morning. They told President Obama that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone’s surprise, all the color drained from Obama’s face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, ‘Just how many is a brazilian?’

This is not surprising, since he obviously has no understanding of a billion or trillion either.

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Bad Day

When you are having a bad day and think you are having problems, just remember this:

Somewhere in this world there is a MR. PELOSI!

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Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our president.

The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘Post Turtle”.
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.
The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’.

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. ‘You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, and he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with’.

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New GM Car

In a special news conference yesterday, Government Motors announced it’s new concept car. The new GM proudly announces the 2010 Oldsmobile Obama.

This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two teleprompters, programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations. The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the “happy” democrat owners.

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Soup Kitchen

Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.

Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter: $0.00

Having Michelle Obama serve your soup: $0.00

A homeless person receiving government funded meals while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500.00 Blackberry cell phone… $Priceless

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Aaaaaaaaaaand last but not least…. I had to save this one for last… Seeing as my nickname is Black Widow and all, this made me laugh extra hard. Loved it.

Enjoy.

Black Widow

Everyone needs to be aware and be very, very careful!

Very informative

The Black Widow….

This spider, one of only a few poisonous spiders in the USA , can be found all over the states of Missouri , Arkansas , Kentucky , and Tennessee .
The spider releases a neurotoxin into the victim that, if not treated, can cause death!

The Black widow hooks-up with the male then sucks the very life out of him after mating!

She’s very easy to spot…

The female has a very wide backside, is Black, and has a red hour glass shaped marking on her belly….

You can find this spider in:

Closets

Wood Piles

Under Beds

and now…

THE WHITEHOUSE!

http://www.twitter.com/RealBlackWidow

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Does anyone else get sick of listening to this guy?

This made me laugh so hard…

Anyhow, Barack Obama’s voice is like nails on a chalk board to me. So when it comes time to actually listening to the guy on important issues, it just about takes a gallon of pepto and a nausea pill to make me be able to stomach it.

Funny I mention “important issues” when to him all it seems like is a joke… I truly believe this guy has no interest in protecting this country. Obama has no backbone. If you were to take an X-Ray of him, there would be a stick extending from his posterior to his neck, which is why I think his ears stick out so damn far.

Health care! – lies

War Issues! – lies

No higher taxes! – major lie

Does the guy NOT lie about something? Sheesh I know there’s freedom of speech, but come on man!

Recently on the fourth of July, I got to talking politics with the friends I was with. Now, before the election they were all hard core set on voting for Obama and how he was “going to save us all” from Bush. Totally different change of heart. I was pleasantly surprised we weren’t slugging each other over view points. My liberal friends were all ashamed they voted for Obama . EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM REGRETS VOTING FOR HIM AND FEELS BETRAYED FROM HIS LIES… If that doesn’t say something in a red state, I don’t know what does. His constant lies, his savvy attitude, his empty promises… all for what? A country that looks like a dead rat to other countries *cough NoKo cough* A country with the highest unemployment rate in over 26 years. A country that is up in arms and finally taking action. A country that hasn’t seen these dark of days since the 1920’s, and hopefully we won’t get that bad!

I can’t remember the last time a president was so controversial (minus Clinton, but his was the sex scandal) over policies.

Mr. Obama… it’s not all about being cool! We don’t care if you’re dressed nice, wear the right shoes or have the latest ray ban sunglasses. Just do the right thing and fix our country. So far you’re screwing it up! I feel sorry for whoever has to clean up your mess.

I’m fed up. Aren’t you?

http://www.twitter.com/RealBlackWidow

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